I am at my ex's parent's home. It is Christmas day and my family is there to see me. Everyone has assembled to do the Christmas thing. My ex's father, to entertain the children, brought a lawn sprinkler indoors and turned it on. Then he took off all his clothing and laid on the living room floor, letting the water splash on him. The water hit me, and I laid on the floor. I wanted to get away, but my body was extremely heavy and I was having difficulty moving it. I did break free though and moved to the sitting room where my mother was sitting on a chair by the wall. She had her head down as if she were looking at her purse. Through a hallway that contained a descending staircase I saw my sister, but her face looked just like my mother's.

I remember wanting to go down the stairs but I was paralyzed by this mental hallucination. Im not sure what it was, but momentarily I thought I was going insane. My mother asked me what was wrong and she was crying. I started crying and told her I didnt know but I thought I was losing my mind. I ran through the door that lead to the staircase toward my sister.

I am outside, on a particular street in Pekin. I am with my second youngest brother and I am supposed to rendevous with my parents and sister. A shuttle bus stops to pick up my brother and I. It is the type of small white bus senior citizens use to go to Walgreen's. I go inside, carrying my brother. I try to take a seat but the driver will not stop slamming on the brakes making me fall. When I do get a seat, a black man walks down the aisle, giving everyone a white restaurant napkin. I take the napkin and wrap it around my fist, and with that hand grab onto the headrest of the seat in front of me. The front window of the bus becomes a screen, and I think that the whole thing is this virtual reality ride. I tell my brother that this will be like a ride at Disneyworld and he is less than thrilled.

Then I am flying through the mall, as if the ride did turn into reality. I am holding my brother and zipping around this mall in circles. The napkin somewhow made my able to fly. My brother started to say he wanted to go home and he was sick of me holding him. I told him I didnt really know how to stop, but that I would try. I started to lose my grip on him, so I slowed down and eventually stopped. I let him go and we went about, looking for an exit but could not find one. I was concerned I would not find my mother.

I am in a field, or some wide open space in the outdoors. The sun is very bright and I am sitting on a hill. Next to me is someone I care about romantically. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back at him.

This is a collection of dreams I have had relatively recently, but before I had made the decision to create this journal. as a result I fail to remember the exact dates I had any of these. However, that does not rule them out as useful and I will provide them nonetheless. The first one out of all of them starts is here.

I am in Faner Hall, a large building on my campus that resembles a prison. (Not a suprise considering it was built by a prison engineer.) My ex's friend is there, he lives in the building. His apartemnt in the building is one large room, and it is furnished with gym mats and a basketball hoop, save for one bedroom with a bed in it. My ex, his friend, and I are all discussing something. Then two men that I do not see fully enter the room and carry my ex and his friend away. I see in the hallway my old POLISCI T.A. I run to him and tell him what happened but he is oddly calm about the whole thing. He walks into the bedroom and lays on the bed and I plea with him to do something about the two men. He calmly tells me that they are being killed as we speak and that soon the two men will come in and hold me down as he slices me to pieces. I ask him how he can be so inhuman when I had always known him to be a pretty nice guy. He simply says that these things have to happen. In immense anger I knock him off the bed and straddle his body, pressing my thumbs into his trachea, choking him. I was expecting a good deal of struggle but he succumbed relatively easily. His neck was soft and fat, and it took a great deal of time to actually kill him. I remember being suprised at the amount of time it took.