This dream particularly troubles me because of its implied violence and graphic representations of the death of one of my family.

I was in the back of a limosuine driving through downtown Peoria. I was sharing the ride with my mother, my two youngest brothers, aged 9 and 8. There were also two men with long hair that I could best describe as "Hollywood Producer" types. I do know that I had the distinct impression that these two men where assholes.

We drove to some resaurant that these two men were supposed to own. It was a fine dining establishment repleat with overly varnished hardwood everything everywhere. The lighting was dim.

I stood outside with my youngest brother, and my mother was to my side but she kept moving further and further away. Then I noticed myself being moved further away from my youngest brother. I looked at him, and watched as he pulled down his pants and excremented on the ground below him. This filled me with rage and I ran to him ready to give him a good talking to if not more. He smiled at me and cleaned himself with his hand and wiped that hand on my shirt. This angered me even more and I pulled up his pants and pulled him around the side of the car where I slapped him and shook him saying something to the nature that that sort of behavior was never appropriate. He started to cry and I carried him into the restaurant to wash him properly in the bathroom.

In the bathroom I pulled down his pants and noticed a large lesion on his hip. It was bleeding mildly and It caused some concern, so I left the bathroom to find my mother so she could see it. When I exited the bathroom he started bleeding profusely all over me and was less crying than sobbing. I immediately made my way back to the bathroom to grab some paper to cover his bleeding with. The bathroom door was locked and I heard the two men I shared the limosuine with doing cocaine. I screamed for them to unlock the door and let me in but they laughed at me. I ran outside.

Then I was in my old apartment. My ex was there as well. I had laid my brother down to sleep and was describing him the problems he was having. My ex wanted to see so I woke my brother up and had him come out to the living room and disrobe. His condition had grown worse. His back was covered in scaly hives and lesions, and his entire body seemed to be bleeding. I noticed he was going pale and I thought he would soon die.

Throughout my life I have run into spurts of incredibly vivid and intense dreams. During these times I have always thought about making a dream journal. My pupose of such a journal would be to catalog a number of dreams and sometime down the road, examine them to see if any underlying theme is all-pervasive and existing. Of course it is equally as likely that no such theme will be found, but nonetheless this will be a fun activity and perhaps a learning expereince.

I also may go on a rant or two in here with respect to those things I think I need to get off my chest. In this case I will be sure to indicate such as to quell any confusion.

I invite the input of others, and will be pleased to hear from any readers. Your interest is kind and will make this personal project of mine feel a little more worthwhile.